Appetite

  No one has ever believed what I say about my appetite until they actually see me eat. I eat an average of 8000+ calories per day, and somehow am unable to gain any weight. My typical food day in West Virginia would go like this: for breakfast -- a pizza (whole), egg and ham omelet, and bagels with cream cheese and salmon. After this, I eat protein bars and random assorted snacks to hold me over until lunch. Lunch usually consists of some sort of pizza again, and three or four sandwiches of some sort (preferably subs, preferably from Jimmy Johns). Protein bars and salads are once again consumed to hold me over until dinner. For dinner, my mom is a great cook, and cooks a nice meal (often of chicken or some sort of meat) every night in huge portions. This is followed by desert and then random meals of pop-tarts and protein bars until bed time.

          Now, in college, I eat almost primarily granola and yogurt. And cookies. The cookies here are so damn good. So is the granola. Everything else is so awful. But those are delicious. I don't know if I quite manage my 8000 calories a day here, but if I do it consists entirely of granola and yogurt and chocolate chip cookies. I strategically seat myself right next to the cookies and snag armfuls every time a new tray is brought out. I have trained myself to be able to judge almost exactly how fresh or old a cookie is by how the light glistens off of the chocolate. Not just -- if it's glistening they're fresh and if they aren't they are cold -- I can tell almost exactly how fresh or cold they are now. From experience. I also steal a lot of stuff from the dining hall. Not really because I want it, but just more kind of in spite against how terrible the food is. Anyways, my diet is pretty messed up here. They need better food.